Feed Shark Urinal Cakes

Saturday, January 14, 2006

17.5 down 1/2 to go

It is very difficult to endure these last six months. Although that is a relatively short time, my circumstance causes time to slow. Right now I'm sitting in my niece's room @ her 1' high desk and chair typing this. "Why?" you ask. Because it is the only time that I have to post(I'm here babysitting, Jessica is watching her at the moment). In six months the world will be mine to explore, but until then I am a slave. What radical change will occur in me six months from now that would allow me to ascend into adulthood? There is none. My life is so restricted because socity say I am a child, not to mention my parents. To demonstrate how much my life sucks I will go now. Even the refuge that I manage to escape to is short.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

So here I am, four months later. I haven't posted in so long I've forgotten the meaning of the word. A lot has happened since my last posts. As you are aware I didn't follow thru on my podcasts. Also I have decided to stop participating in most of my extra-curricular activities (I'm not doing the spring play). But, there are reasons for my actions and there is light in my future. Only six months and the hell is over, no more school. At that point I plan to attend MCC for CS while working on a novel I wish to publish. I haven't told many about it, but it is coming along. I'm sure most will think that I'm too young and not ambitious enough to publish a work of fiction, yet I will persist. I don't' want to give details out just yet, but I've made a lot of progress. When I've completed the first draft I will likely ask for input, and then I will share it with close friends and relatives.

I've decided to stop doing so many extra-curricular activities because I'd rather spend my time on other things. School work, writing, programming. Which, oh, by the way I'm in the process of writing a wicked game. It is an adventure/quest played using text based commands, but this is no garden-variety, run-of-the-mill adventure game. This is a whopper, and I've decided to include a graphical component to the game. Text describes the environment, but I have a map to show relative movement and location. I'm thinking of adding and graphical inventory interface for quick use of items too. Anyways I'll inform you when I make further progress.

I'm still with Jessica for all who may be concerned. I won't say much about her because she might not wish me to, but I'll say a little. I care very much about her, but sometimes things are difficult for both of us. I want things to work out, and I sure hope they do. But, for know I must just let things be and wait, 'go with the flow'.

Anywho, I mentioned that my future looked bright. It sure does! Six months and school is over. Then I will be free, and I'll have my own car. I'll be able to do as I please. We will be getting wireless internet so I finally have proper access to the web, and that means I'll be able to post all the time. I will also be getting a laptop for home and college use. I've always thought of laptops as wasteful, but now I see that there portability is actually that valuable. But, I must be going now, I'll try to post more, but no promises. Bid me luck in my last leg of hell!

Friday, September 23, 2005

NEWS FLASH

Ben is a dumb-ass. He smells like cow patties!

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

I'm back from outerspace...

So here's the deal. We've recorded a couple of podcasts, however had no time to convert them to an acceptable format and then post them. I haven't had much time to post either. As you can see by my lack of posts. School starts on Tuesday the 7th I believe. I have only two days of work left which I admittedly will miss. I'm here with Jessica, and after realizing that I haven't posted in a long time I thought it a good idea. But I've looked around at others blogs and realized that no one is(with the exception of scott of course!). I've realized that blogging is a big undertaking; which is the sacrafice to be had, to use this powerful tool. I will be attempting to post more often in the hope that others will follow. It is going to be difficult however considering school is starting. I am taking an AP course and I will be a Sr. There is also a play we are doing. Rehersals commence a week after school starts. There's a lot going on. I'd like to relax. but it is good to be busy. I must leave you all for now, but I'll post again soon. Oh yeah, I can't wait to get the hell outta' highschool! Having a job makes me realize this more than ever.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

We're gonna' follow thru

Well everyone, sorry I haven't posted in a good long time. I've been busy with work and Jess and such. It's our 5 month anniversary by the way. But, I have good news. Jessica and I have decided to actually have start our PodCast "venture". Hopefully our first airing will be up by the end of the weekend. I don't have time to write much more now, but I'll post again soon, hopefully as our first podcast.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Podcasting, a new venture?

To all my readers out there(the whole three of you, jk). This summer will be an interesting one. I start work tomorrow, I'm going to work on getting VB certified, and another thing I'll give you a hint. It starts with "pod" and ends with a "casting". Jessica and I will hopefully host a show this summer. I will notify you all when we first air. I think maybe I'll record one of our phone convos. without telling her, and then post that. That would be pretty amusing don't you think? Anyways, I must retire to sleep because I must work early in the morning. See ya'

Friday, June 24, 2005

Dark Rooms with No Doors

I'm in the dark, I need guidance, help me.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Me got new blog! I think you groovy!

I have created a new blog. This new blog is to contain my views on life, politics, and religion. If you don't wish to see what I write, then don't read it. I will put the first few posts from it on Urinal Cakes. It's called Livestock or Deadlock ,please visit. All should read my latest post, it is called Absolutism & Classes. It is on both Urinal Cakes and Livestock or Deadlock.

Absolutism & Classes

I will not deny that I am still young, however I resent that many think of me as unwise and irresponsible. Yet, I have come to many conclusions regarding life that I feel are accurate. Although my perspective on life may change, my overall being, who I am is constant. I have changed a great deal in the past few years, for I was realizing who am. I have concluded that all life is change and that nothing is absolute. I have also come to learn that everything can be interpreted in so many ways and viewed in so many perspectives. There is no such thing as a true absolute statement regarding any subject. This is the root of all conflict.
All conflict is caused by two things, ignorance and greed. One's failure to understand another's views or culture. One's failure to step into another's shoes, to understand their actions. I don't deny that I do this, because I do. But, I have an open mind, which is one of the most valuable things one can have. However, I am also very skeptical, I only believe what makes logical sense and can be proved. Which leads to a discussions on religion, but we'll save that for another time. The other that causes conflict as I said is greed. The failure for one to feel empathy for another. The act of performing an act for self gain. Now, let us step back for a moment. As I said earlier all conflict is caused by either ignorance or greed. Well, I also said that no statement is absolute. I will also tell you that there are always exceptions. Wait a minute though, I'm talking in absolutes even now, "always". So there's even exceptions to the exception rule. What I should've said was that there usually are exceptions. Anyways, conflict can be caused by more than just ignorance and greed. It was an absolute statement that I made, and there is more to it than just one absolute answer.
We must learn to break through the black and white, no longer be narrow minded. For instance, there is never a clearcut "good" or "evil"(oops that's an absolute statement, so really there RARELY is a good and evil, black and white). Rather, we classify things to make life easier. It is difficult for us to understand complex relationships, therefore we break up objects into classes. This creates confusion and miscommunication. Language is a means of communication that lacks precision. It was difficult for me to write this, because I know that I'm not expressing everything as precisely as I mean to, and that not everyone will understand this as I mean it. Many will interpret this differently than I mean it. But, moving back to classes. Humans classify, they break up everything into simplified structures, classes and subclasses. Yet, it causes inaccuracy and confusion. Now let's stop for a moment, up until now I've been spewing information at you. So if I am any kind of persuasive writer, and if you're susceptible to persuasion you probably agree with me. I have given you no basis for truth, no proof except my word. However, I told you to be skeptical and not to believe all you are told. So I'll give you some basis for belief, but the best proof is to live and experience life to see what I mean. One instance of classification being inaccurate comes back to "good" versus "evil", is there really such thing as good or evil? Even in movies, the "good guy" isn't ever(absolutes again) really "good". Even if he is good, there is always another point of view that could argue other ideas, maybe that he really is "evil". Think of your favorite superhero, is he/she really that good? Probably not, they likely have a number of flaws, no one's that perfect, no one is that "good". Now I must remember to be careful, I am talking in absolutes again. What about religion? As I said before that is another discussion, I will approach that later. But, one may argue that there is true good and evil. God/Jesus versus Satan/Sin, good versus evil. And it makes logical sense that in our world there is no clearcut good or evil. I can justify this because we all struggle with sin, to try to be good, yet we are tempted to sin. Therefore, no one is a true good, or true evil force. We are all degrees of good and evil, and there is only one true good, and one true evil. I'm not saying I believe anything specific when it comes to religion, but I am looking at this objectively and saying it is possible. I do have doubts, but I will talk about religion another time.
Moving back to proving that classification is an inaccurate practice. I will demonstrate using simple physical objects, let's say... furniture. Think about how inaccurate and confusing the word 'chair' is. You might say, "Its a piece of furniture that you sit in." Furniture is a class, and chair is a subclass of furniture. But then how do you define furniture, we have some gray area there. Also, furniture you sit on is not specific only to class 'chair', what about a couch? So, okay let's say we're both in a room and I say, "Sit in that chair." You would wonder which chair, for you'd not know which chair, "that"chair is. So I would say, "The blue one." Now we've established two classes that we must understand, and the descriptive enumeration, blue that all generalize what I'm trying to say. These classes by themselves do not provide very much information, rather they provide "enough" information to get by on. To describe 'chair' much further it takes a great deal of effort. Let's say it's a recliner, that would be a subclass of class 'chair' that we must understand. It is very structured and understandable, however it lacks flexibility and is not very descriptive. If I have blue recliner X, and another blue recliner that is completely different, we'll call it Y. Unless I want to define and relate numerous more classes I can't describe the 'chair', and even if I do it is not a completely accurate description. this is very frustrating, yet it is the way that we are able to understand our world as we know it. At this point in time it seems there is no way around the restrictions of classification. we structure our world so it is more "user friendly", just as a computer program. Yet, because we eliminate flexibility and level of understanding, there are so many things that I will never understand. There is no way to communicate them to me. I can't imagine what it's like to be of another culture or race. Yet I keep an open mind, and respect others because I know their views aren't wrong, just different.
I don't know what I believe. I have views on somethings, but they may change, and I always have an open mind. I just go with the flow, and make decisions as I go. I'm attempting to find spirituality, but it's hard for I don't know what to believe, and I'm skeptical. I've had some help, however it's something I must realize for myself, and it will take time. But, the main point of me writing this is to express that I feel that nothing in life is black and white, that everything is linked in a complex manner. There are many things that can't be explained. I don't claim to understand them, but I know that I must look at life from all perspectives to live it to its fullest, and not to jump to any conclusions. Much conflict is created by disagreement in points of views. Incapability to see things as others do. Many wars were caused by this. Yet war and religion are complex matters that will be discussed later. However, it must be noted that they are linked to the passage which I have just written. It simply makes sense to break them up to look at them separately, as well as linked to one another and this passage. I will cut this short, although there is much more I was going to write I will save it. I think I should spread out my thoughts, so that it can be more easily read, and so that I have time to reflect after each.
In conclusion: Nothing is absolute, although that statement itself is absolute, so I really just contradicted myself! Oh well. Also classification leads to miscommunication. Considering this, have an open mind, but be skeptical. And go with the flow.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Scented podcasting, and using crayons to mow your lawn

Have you ever noticed the weirdest smells? And they don't seem to be coming from anywhere. I mean these bizarre raunchy aromas coming from nowhere. It's the worst when you're sitting with a lot of people, and you get a whiff of tacos and ass-crack. Great, now you are subject to torture and everyone thinks it's you who let one. And sometimes you get things that taste funny, things that taste like a funny smell. My sister got mashed potatos at Peppermints that tasted like new television smell, who woulda' though? You know what smells funny? Crayons. And it's not like all crayons smell the same. Different brands smell different, so what if different colors smelt different? And they have weird names for their colors... like mac 'n cheese, what if the crayon actually smelled like it. Little kids will be eating their wax crayons. Hey did you know that wax sculptors use melted-down defective crayons in their sculptures? Because they don't, but they should, don't you think, to have like multicolored sculpture... Okay this is getting pretty boring so I'll talk about something else. I didn't lacked sleep for like the past three days. See, I'm so tired that I wrote, "I didn't lacked sleep" Really though, I've been pretty tired because I have lacked sleep for the past few days. Friday I woke up early to take exams. I didn't have time to eat, so I went to my first exam without breakfast. The two of my exams lasted approx six hours, then I arrived home. That night I went to Scott's to play AOE2, and Jessica tagged along. I don't think she much enjoyed when we were playing, but I spent time with her afterwards. I managed to win all four games I was in, then Jessica and I watched Star Wars VI. I squeezed in a couple hours sleep, and then I was off home to do chores. When I got home @ eight am, I mowed our 1 & 1/4 acre plot of land and did the trim, I vacuum our basement and mudroom and did any other chores needed. Took most of the day, more than six hours. That night Jess, Lin-z, and I went for a bite at a local diner, and then Jess and I went to the drive-in movies. We saw Mr & Mrs. Smith, and Star Wars III. However, I had already seen Star Wars and I was pretty pooped, so I drifted into sleep. I got home around two am, and slept in late 'till Sunday afternoon, fathers day. Now it's about five thirty pm Sunday, and hopefully I get a chance to post this tonight. This summer if I have time... podcasting, wow Scott showed me a couple of interesting tid-bits. Damn good thing audioblogger is back up, 'cause I'm gonna' make use of it. After exams, all I have to worry about is a part time job, I'll have time unless I spend it all on other things.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Exhausted from exams

Wow, it's easy to get yourself in deep when you've got a girl to kick your ass when you screw up. Yeah, our four month anniv. just slipped my mind whoops. So in fact I'm posting from Jessica's house right now. It's friday and I hope that we have a game tonight. I'm tired and I had two exams today, one was english(piece 'o cake) the other was french. Man I'm tired, I'm just "chillin'" as Jessica would say. Anywho, I hope I see the gang tonight. I'm... SO... t... i. r 'd ...dasfgsdf
agdfseyh ryjkru Oops, well since i'm that tired i should go.

Friday, June 10, 2005

The Path of Waste

Lads on the brain, operation! ...I mean how is everyone? I haven't posted in centuries 'cause I haven't had a chance to get online for a while. So today was my last day of school, right now I'm @ a LAN party(AOE2). So prom was amazing, and now that schools out I can see Jessica a hell of a lot more. It'll be pretty sweet, no I should say she's pretty sweet. Anywho, I plan to get my VB.NET certs this summer, but it depends on how dedicated I am. I'm pretty tired, it's about 2:30am, and I have to get up early tomorrow... But oh well. I just wish there was one of those magic buttons, you know? Not an easy button tho, although that could be handy sometimes. I just wish that things weren't so complicated, and annoying. I just want rest, I don't want to be lazy, but I want to do what I want. Who cares about school? Right now I don't give a crap. I won't let myself fail, because I know that would come back and lad me. Even tho I could get 100s in all my classes I don't care. You know why? Because the system is corrupt and useless, so why waste my time. I find much information taught in school to be interesting. But, when it is taught in a manner that is dull, with many innacuracies. And when there is so much redundancy and busy work. And when school is not any use to me than to get in to college. Then I say, "who cares". I'm sure many who read this say I'm throwing away an opportunity. An opportunity to what? Waste all my money on an expensive college. I will probably go to a community college, but even if I didn't that would mean I would be a failure? "Oh yes life would be difficult, but it wouldn't be if I went to college?" NO! It's difficult either way, just different paths.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Warning: May cause use of hands

I need help. Guess what! I may have mentioned that I have completed my most recent VB project. I have also added much additional functionality in the past week. It is pretty groovy, however I need to find other projects to move on to. Any suggestions? In brief, my last project was a simple app that managed a database, which stored client and order info. It was pretty rockin' and although I intend to continue to add a little more to it... I need to move on. Any ideas would be valued. I've got a couple, but I still want to see what others say. By the way, did anyone see the 50% annual brainbech subscription. I would sign up, but I'm spending all I've got on the prom. Also I would be able to make use of it for a while... Oh well. It still sucks urinal cakes though.

Desire causes Suffering

I am weary, I require that which will make me whole... my freedom. I have learned not to dwell on my imprisonment itself, but instead on individual instances caused by being bound to this household. Apart from dealing with those that make my skin crawl, I am not only waiting to start my life (as a free man), but also struggling to do anything I enjoy at all. I don't think of myself as being in high school because I am living for the future. I detest the circumstances that have been forced upon me, therefore I look to hope, I look to the future. I do enjoy the extra-curricular activities I take part in, and the time spend with my friends (which is limited). But, hell I'd give that up for freedom. I do have one thing that I wouldn't like to give up, my girlfriend. Although I'm young and haven't dated much, our relationship is... amazing. It's not pressured, it's not forced. We are ourselves, and well, I can't imagine what it was like without her. I won't say much more than this because I don't know how comfortable she is with me writing this. Still, even though we've been together less than three months I can't emphasize how much I care about her. Anywho, I will move away from the mushy, I will conclude this short and multiemotional post with "All life is suffering," as the Buddhists say. However, I will say, why not make the most of what you've got despite suffering. The true meaning of the quote is that all life is want and we suffer because we can not attain what we desire. So I must make the most of the time I have in this house, and when I leave I will have achieved what I desire... and will therefore no longer suffer. Buddhists will argue that there will always be another desire after others have been overcome. This may be true, but damn I'll be overjoyed when the time comes, I will be willing to face whatever comes my way.

Friday, April 15, 2005

No time for... Armor Hot Dogs

Holy Christmas Batman, There is too much going on. Prom is in three weeks, mocktrial competitions, SATs, a plethora of schoolwork(not that I do it anyways), programming every free second, and trying to see my girlfriend as much as possible w/ the little time left! Sorry about the run-on sentence, but would have less effect if I split it up. And it's hard to do anything w/ my parents always on my case. I need a break, it's Friday afternoon and I bet in a couple of hours scott or loopy will call me up. "Can you come to the game...?" God let my father say yes. But, maybe I could hang out @ the house tonight, and maybe just *cough, cough* "hang out" *cough*. I would want to bring my machine if I came though, yeah right. Anywho, I've got plans... big plans to... I don't know yet. Moving on, I checked out scott's new blog today, one that all should observe it is his essays and writings on the Christian faith. I think all will find it a good read. Sorry that this is such a short entry, but I gotta' go. I post again soon.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Society's Arguments

If I could only illustrate to you how unjust society is. Yet, there is no right answer, therefore we must live as justly as possible, and argue as to what the definition of justly is. There is no way to be truly fair or just or moral. Besides it is our nature as humans to look out for our own welfare. Speaking of welfare, that is an arguable issue that has no good answer. Welfare gives aid to those who need it, but it takes the cash that others earn, and many abuse the system anyways. What is the right answer? Many will argue both sides, and barring my opinion it is impossible to come to one right answer. Society is... perpetually fluctuating, but one thing is certain, man has established basic truths to follow by. It has been established that man has certain rights that are not to be infringed upon. The Ten Commandments epitomize the basics of society's morals for thousands of years. It is wrong to murder, steal, lie, etc. These happen to be specific instances, but simply put, it is wrong to harm another or infringe on another's "natural rights"(as established by the USA's Declaration of Independence). Now don't only think about the wrongs done by murdering another, or burglary, or the such. Think also of the hundreds, and the thousands of sins we commit... EVERY DAY. Now I'm not the most religious person you'll meet, I'm still trying to figure out what the truth is or what I believe in. I can tell you one thing though: We are sinners. It is impossible not to be, what is truly wrong is that this has become acceptable. I think that everyone should be allowed to enjoy life to its fullest, however if others are hurt in consequence of this it is wrong. I am not saying anything new by this, and all I have said is already known. Also I am far from perfect, but I simply am observing that, wow, people can be assholes, and for no good reason at that. People will detriment others greatly for little gain, or worse for spite or for the enjoyment of seeing them suffer. It truly is sickening to look at it in this manner. Yet, I as all am the same way, it is just interesting to observe from the unbiased third person. However, I am biased. I am biased because I live in a society that believes what I have just mentioned in the last few hundred words is wrong, and that we are sinners. It would be interesting to tear these facts apart with out any bias at all. Is it wrong to do anything one wants to be content? Well, nature says no, "survival of the fittest", those who are the strongest succeed. But, we believe we are above this, we are civilized and we consider that behavior wrong. Yet we are hypocritical, because we ourselves are as these animals are, we do what we need to do to get ahead as individuals. So the question is, "is this wrong?" Some say yes, some say no. One could argue that morals exist as part of society so that we can exist as such. If there wasn't basic structure that frowned upon wrongdoings, civilization as we know it would likely fall apart. Hence, I believe it is necessary for humans to be bound to a moral society. I also think it is right that all are to be treated justly, and that it is wrong to impose on another's rights. I do think it is an interesting subject that goes much deeper than I have touched, so any comments would be appreciated.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Lonesome, very lonesome... that is what I am. Even though I spend a lot of time with many people, I feel alone. This is likely due to the fact that I have been very busy lately(this is why I haven't posted in a few days, even though I try to post every day). Actually, this post will be short because I don't have that much time to spend posting today either. Anywho, wow! Back to good 'ol school! I have decided to really take up VB.NET again. I'm eventually would like to get all three certs, but I'm not in a hurry. What I am doing now is studying at a steady and consistent pace, and then applying this knowledge in my projects as I go. It is much more enjoyable than cramming to take an exam, and I can go as slow or as fast as I want. I wish I could keep writing, but I gotta' go. Here's a groovy picture... of my nostril...

Friday, April 01, 2005

I've Fallen & I Can't Get Up

...So where are they? Can anyone tell me? On some distant world, in some distant galaxy? This is not Star Trek. In some alternate dimension or parallel universe? Yet, we're not in the twilight zone. So can anyone tell me? Who has the answers to my questions? Who can tell me the truth? No one, I can only find the truth myself. The only ones I have for comfort and for help are my peers, my fellow humans. Yet, you, and your family, and your friends, and everyone else in the entire human race are subject to the same predisposition as I am. Knowing only what we can see to be true. Yet, because we fear the unknown and fear death and loneliness we imagine truths. This is why many argue that UFOs prove that there is life on other planets. What about bigfoot? Obviously a hoax, still many did not dismiss the claim of giant hairy apes roaming the earth, the likes of which only two or three individuals have ever seen. Some argue that religion was established out of fear that there was nothing after life, and because humans can't handle being a lone race on a remote planet with no purpose. I am not saying this is true or false. I am still trying to find truth in spirituality, but I consider this a possibility. I am an open-minded person, yet I am also skeptical. Therefore, show me a truth, and give me ample justification for it. This is why I am alone, as we all really are. I can't just believe something because it is "true". I must have reasoning. I am frustrated... I don't know how to express my frustration. I am a happy individual, yet I feel something missing. I don't know what I want... what I mean is that all while I was writing this I had a funny feeling like there was something I wanted to express, but couldn't put into words. There is so much that can't be explained or expressed or comprehended. They are all around us, and we as humans try to explain them with our limited imaginations. Maybe it is one dimensional... there is a god who created it all for the human race, and there is nothing more we need to know, nothing more to be asked. Yet, I can't help, but think... wait, is that right. And I get so frustrated at people in general. People do moronic things... and yet this is no new news... I must ask why? I will answer my own question. We all have desires, we all have fears, and we all fear being hurt. We do things we regret out of fear and want. So why don't we all just agree to be perfect little righteous members of society? That's like asking why aren't we a communist nation... because each individual still has wants and fears that will overrun us. Now you may ask why I am frustrated... this is because people do unnecessary things that hurt them more than it helps, as well as hurting others, even those they may love. And I think the real reason I am frustrated is that I do this as well. The only way I wouldn't be frustrated is if I as well as all of society could overcome this. However, I don't think we should have to, nor we will. This is why I follow the "Go With The Flow" policy. I can't change society, so I 'go with the flow'. Although this can be interpreted in many ways. More accurately I follow the "Do whatever the hell I want, but try to be nice about it" policy.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Coconut Ape



This monkey was actually carved out of a coconut... very rare, very valuable.

Delineation by Gesticulation

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Electric Fiddles & Spaghetti-Os

Man, today was a crazy day, mittens were flying everywhere. Has anyone ever eaten too many spaghetti-Os other than me? Wow, it feels like you're digesting a brick, and considering what comes out the other end, I'm not surprised. I'll tell you, I eat the worst combination of foods. I just load on the junk, like there was no tomorrow. Luckily I'm a teenage male, meaning that that's what my body was made for... consuming the previously considered inconsumable. Today I discovered an interesting little tid bit... My friend Rob works at tops and I often see him there when I go to stock up on the junk food. Well, today I talked to him for a minute, only to find out that he has acquired an electric fiddle! I gotta' hear this thing... hey maybe I'll post an audioblog of him playing it! Well, I'll let you all go since I've already posted like three times today. Today was cool... I got to see Jessica a little. Tomorrow will be okay... I'm going out to lunch with my mother, grandmother, and Dana. Thursday will be cool... I'm going to mock trial practice(and I might get to see Jess).

Andy Griffith

The Andy Griffith Show... everyone knows of it... everyone has seen it. For me and for most it brings back good memories. It was first aired I believe in the sixties, and still has much popularity even today. A few years ago when I was small I remember watching it while sipping OJ over summer break. What made me think of this is that it's still on television all the time. And of course my parents used to watch it. Don played everyone's favorite Barney, and Ron went on to create a great career in show biz. I love old time shows and movies. They give one a warm fuzzy feeling. So when I was humming 'The Andy Griffith Show' theme song I felt I just had to express these thoughts. I try to ask myself why I loved the show so much as well as the other millions who share this love. I think it is that it demonstrates the lives of "normal" people. Well, okay maybe not perfectly normal... but it gives situations that viewers can relate to. It also paints the main characters as good upstanding citizens whose struggles are those any could have. Although many of the conflicts are out of the ordinary and silly, one can relate to the struggles they faced. Also these 'out of the ordinary' situations make the show unique and comical. The main characters are also in no way perfect. Many if not all of the conflict in the show demonstrates just how human they all are. Yet, the fact that they try to seek morality demonstrates that they are good people, and this shows why viewers would want to relate themselves to the characters.

God Bless America

GO WITH THE FLOW DAMMIT! It makes me so angry, so much argument and so much distress over nothing. Why can't everybody just deal with what goes on around them? I could easily get into debates about my politics or about religion or whatever... but do I? NO! If someone's being a real ***wipe about something I will tell them off, and tell them why they are wrong to shut them up. But, I do not get in passionate arguments in public that will not make any difference in any matter except for dividing people. Why are so many groups divided and opposed to each other... religion. I think spirituality can be a good thing... I think religion can be a good thing. Religion can bring together people who have similar beliefs, but can just as easily set one group against another. My point of view is this: I am young and I am unsure what I believe in yet, to me there may or may not be a god, I don't mean that I am an atheist or satanic or anything of that sort. But, I have come to terms with the idea that there may or may not be a greater being. I hope there is, and if there is I yield and respect him/it. But, I'm not going to become a monk and not enjoy life because I think I'll go to hell if I make one tiny mistake. People should live good moral lives... and I try to, whether or not I believe there is a god. It is hard for some people to understand this, many think you either have faith or you do not. I don't know the truth, and I don't think I should have to. If I am ever meant to know, then I will, until then I am content. My family is Catholic, and as of now I try and live somewhat Catholic, and at least try to find truth in something. But right now... I am unsure. For all I know, I'll turn out Buddhist or Atheist or if Catholicism is right for me, then cool. I have respect for those who are religious, unless it involves violence or evil. Why do people care if others believe in other things? I find it fascinating and I wish to find out more about other religions, and other cultures, etc. Instead people become divided. One thing I hate is that people are lumped together as groups, and not looked upon as individuals. I have an opinion, but since most people that are somewhat similar to me are lumped in the same group I am... I automatically am thought to think a certain way. I'll try not to say much more about myself because this is getting personal, and I don't want to offend anyone any more than I already have. Boy... there is much I want to say but... I won't. I must remember what I said before... do not incite division, go with the flow. Although I guess expressing my feelings is not breaking the 'go with the flow' rule. I guess what I hate is when people make a big deal out of nothing. Who cares if Jo Shmo is a dumbass, and thinks we should nuke the whales, does it hurt me that he thinks this? No. So if I want to express how I feel, and leave it at that, it wouldn't hurt anything right. Probably not, the thing is... I can be idealistic and agree not to become offended by what others say... but that doesn't mean they agree to that. BUT, then again it's a free country so I could say screw you all. But, that would be breaking my own ideas that it sucks that people cause division. Therefore after long deliberation I think I'll say only this: GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Monday, March 28, 2005

Grease-Monkey Underwear... and VB.NET

So... I've been in a really weird mood lately. If anyone read my last two posts you've probably noticed. Anywho, I intend to toss in random little things like that... 'Ne Parler Pas' for instance. Many who have read it didn't seem to get it though. It was enjoyable to write, and it was reflective of the mood I was in.

Today was a great day, I spent all day with Jessica. This morning I woke pretty late, and I found that I had nothing to wear. So I threw some clothes in the washing machine, and watched television in my underwear until Jessica called. Luckily my pants were pretty dry by then, and I walked over to her house(it's only like half a mile away). I just chilled out there all day.

I have the rest of this week off, pretty sweet, right? What sucks is that I have to go back to school for another two months before school is out. It'll probably go by fast though. Then I'll get a job... and my license. I likely won't get a car 'till I'm 18 tho. Maybe I could go into auto repair, become some kinda' grease-monkey, and then buy an old junker this summer, and fix it up! Whatta' think? Nah, I don't think it would happen... but it would be fun none the less.

I've only just started looking at my old VB code, in the app I want to rewrite from scratch. What will probably happen is I will take one huge day to reaquaint myself with the code, and then another one to start the coding, and get a chunk completed. The problem is... thousands of lines of spaghetti... I must somehow decipher them and rewrite them intelligibly. Once I get back into the groove of coding it will be very enjoyable, maybe I could rewrite the whole thing from scratch w/out looking at the previous code... then compare the two, to see how far I've progressed. That would be interesting, and I must consider it.

Steam Rolled Bunnies

So I wrote this story about the little French girl Saturday morning. I was kinda' in a weird mood. And oh, by the way if you haven't already read it, then check it out, it is called 'Ne Parler Pas'. Anywho I was talking to my sister through the door about the story, when she was on the pot, and she told me I should go because "...the conversation was being forced." If you only knew how hard I was laughing. She was on THE CAN, and said, "...the conversation was being forced." Wow! Okay, I really hope my sister doesn't read this, because I will be as dead as a steamrolled bunny. Hey, speaking of bunnies, you know what?... it's Easter! Actually I'm writing this Saturday night, but it won't be posted 'till Easter... So Happy Easter! My sister has this bunny puppet right?, and it's flat when not home to a hand. It looks like a steamrolled bunny. Its features are even all elongated and squished as if it really had been steamrolled. Easter is supposed to be a celebration of Christ, and the sacrifice he made for us right? So what does the Easter Bunny have anything to do with Easter. Probably nothing I assume, probably all commercial. But, what I really don't get is that half of these bunnies look satanic and possessed. Some are happy, jovial little things. But, I tell you I've seen my fair share of evil bearing bunnies. Maybe they'll have an exorcist movie about a possessed bunny, who knows? Seriously though, Happy Easter All! It'll probably be a good day this year, my mom's sick so my sister and I are making the food. I'll likely get to see Andy, my brother, and maybe Dana and Brandon. It'll be just a day to sit there and talk... and vege... and eat. I haven't seen Jessica in a few days. I was @ scott and min's house thurs and fri, and she went to her brother's house for the weekend. I talked to her briefly Saturday, but it still sucks. She'll be back Monday though... so it won't be too much longer. If anyone @ the house, or J are reading this you should meet her... she's cool. My mind wanders easily, and when I begin thinking about something interesting or something obscure I try and write it down. That's why blogging is such a cool thing for me. Saturday I started thinking and I wrote 'Ne Parler Pas', a story about a young French speaking girl who becomes lost in Manhattan. Very obscure and out of the ordinary, but its what I thought of. I have many things I wrote in the past, and although I may not feel comfortable submitting all, I may post some of them. ...I've just paced my room for about ten minutes trying to decide whether or not to post a poem I wrote a number of years ago. This is a poem I wrote by clipping phrases out of magazines and rearranging them. Unless you actaully see the poster you can't truely understand my feelings, but I'll post the words anyways:

Title: Freedom/It begins as a dream...

'Another Day In Paradise'
Searching For Simplicity
Not My Own Words
It's as if I'm Adrift in a storm
everyone else has tons of talent
Why Not Me?
They Say It's Time To Swim In The Deep End.
fight to overcome that sinking feeling
I had a chance to talk
Talking With...
Our Days are #ed
enjoy them while you can
Soon I'll Be On The Job
I'm Not In-The-Mood
All I Really Want Is To Dream With The Fishes
Blending Can Be Exciting
Blend Them Thoroughly
But no,
I'm Fighting in a perpetual struggle,
never attaining what is asked of me,
never attaining what I really want.
Is it possible to find PLEASURE in PAIN?
Can anxiety help me to SUCCEED, or strike me down and convince me I'm USELESS?
To answer these questions one needs some kind of Strategic Vision
Until then others will answer my questions with annoying clich├ęs.
And Claim I Need An Attitde Adjustment
So What's Next?
What's It All About?
RESTLESSNESS
END OF STORY.
but maybe it's not me; maybe it's the world,
that can't see things the way I see them

Now this is a poem I wrote last year, it was pretty accurate to how I felt at the the time. It was an poster for English class I had to make. When I first started making it I didn't intend for it to come out this way. But, considering I felt strongly this way at the time it was logical it turned out this way. My feelings have changed a bit though. I have mellowed out a little. I'm at the go with the flo point in my life. Yeah, High School sucks, but I'll be out of school, and my parents house soon... then everything will be great.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Ne Parler Pas

...A young girl about eight or nine called out to me anxiously as she approached, "Excusez-moi monsieur!" I had eyed her pacing the room previously, but now she fixed me with a stare of prepubescent angst that filled the room. My heart leaped as she neared, I knew something was wrong, but why did she call on me... I didn't have any recollection of who she might be and I spoke little to no French. She continued hurriedly as she reached me, now on the edge of tears, "...Je ne peux pas trouver mon prof. Est-ce que vous aidez moi? Je pense... Je pense que..." "What? Can you speak slower?" "Je suis perdu," she spoke softly and clearly this time. I strained my thoughts for the meaning of the word... She was lost. A young girl lost in the heart of Manhattan who only speaks French. We stared at each other for a moment and then we both went to speak at the same time. I spoke slowly and carefully,"Je vais... aider... toi?" Her eyes widened and she gave a small grin, she spoke softly and muttered, "...merci, Monsiuer."

What could I do, take her around the streets of Manhattan looking for her parents? Well, yeah I guess that's what I did. I had no idea where they could be, or even if they were in the city, or even the state... or the country for that matter. Neither of us had any means of communicating with one another. I had no idea what I was doing. Strike that I knew exactly what I was doing... I was wandering around the the crowded streets of Manhattan looking for... your guess is as good as mine. A couple of hours had passed, as we continued clumsily trying to find... someone, in the sea of bodies. We paused a moment and leaned against a tall building. I stared upward at the nearly clear, blue sky, only broken by the occasional wisp of cloud. She apparently had been staring at the pavement, desperate and alone. Suddenly she broke off, and began sprinting towards a small group of children about her age. As she ran she called out behind her, "Thank you sir I found my teacher, goodbye! Merci beacoup!" When she reached them she flung herself at what appeared to be her instructor. I watched as they embraced then talked very animatedly about what happened. I quickly stood and walked into Benny's Diner a few buildings down. I watched as the class moved on, the pupils following their instructor like ducklings behind their mother. The young French-speaking girl skipped happily behind the rest, occasionally stopping to peer into shop windows or to greet passerby with a stare.

She awoke suddenly and blinking to a bird singing loudly out of the window in her third grade classroom. The sun was glaring off the pavement, which she could only assume is had awoken her. She drearily looked about her, everything seemed so surreal after the vividness of her dream. She glanced towards the front of the room, and beside her teacher was a strange looking man with greased dark black hair, and a pale face. It was her... it was who she had been in her dream, and the little girl... was her. She realized how careless she had been, and how unkind. It was not only a dream, it had really happened. She had become lost and this gaunt figure of a man had searched for hours with her to find her class. She thought it would be a funny jest to act as though she could not speak English, but had not thought about the uneasiness it would cause in the man. She rose slowly and approached the man who was standing quite still. She spoke softly, barely above a whisper, "I'm sorry to have bothered you... sir I..." He stopped her abruptly at seeing how distressed she had become, "You need not say, another word. Although I am relieved to find that we can now speak the same language. I only came to see if you were well, you left so quickly I didn't have a chance to say goodbye." She spoke a little louder, and gave a small smile, "Merci, Monsieur."

Friday, March 25, 2005

Speaking the Language of Urinal Cakes

Have you ever noticed that there are always too many ways to say a similar thing in the English language? Take garbage can for instance... or is it trash can? Or maybe waste-paper-basket, bin, recycling bin, or receptacle. It gets confusing doesn't it. And when there aren't too many words, you can never find that one right word to say what you really mean. Language is a confusing and difficult thing to deal with. Since everyone is using it all the time, the human race has become pretty proficient at its use, but language limits the true expression of one's thoughts or feelings. Can you name one person who can describe the feeling of love, or utter loathing? No. One can attempt to scratch the surface of these thoughts, but unless you're a Vulcan your outta luck! See this is why I like urinal cakes... they are straight forward. Urinal Cakes are used to deodorize urinals, as plain as that. I guess you could call it a urine pattie, or a stick-o-freshness... but that's just silly. A urinal cake, is a urinal cake, is a urinal cake. Or so they say. I guess you could do weird things with urinal cakes as well, such as use it as a hockey puck or go bobbing for urinal cakes, but what kinda' weirdo would ever even think of that? Language is a pain, but it is a useful tool of course, and blogging as well. One day everyone may have a blog, which is unlikely, but possible considering the rate at which it is growing. It is not only enjoyable, but it also helps raise awareness about a number of subjects. I write about urinal cakes because its silly, and I'm a silly person. But, I also think that blogging is a useful tool for serious blogs as well. I don't only speak of urinal cakes, but a number of things. I think all should take an active role in blogging, and keep up to date on the latest and greatest. But, really I'm not saying anything useful(everyone already knows this)... I'm just blabbering on, and on, and on.

tiny-pocket-sized-squares

When I first created Urinal Cakes, I had no idea what I would write about. So for my first post I talked about urinal cakes. Now I regard the use of urinal cakes as a very amusing subject. Since my blog is one of urinal cakes I will periodically post relevant info about urinal cakes. Later I may place some interesting links for all to view. I will still continue to comment on the usual, but those interested in urinal cakes, you should take a look at my take on "Does the chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight". Also take a look at Eric the Urinal Cake Head. So I attended the microsoft msdn winter seminar at the Reagal theater in Rochester today. It was pretty interesting. But, since Reagal is a commercial theater other people were there to view movies as well. And who do I see, a couple of my high school chums. Now don't get me wrong, they are very kind people, but also a couple of weirdos. Microsoft gave out free t-shirts, packed into tiny-pocket-sized-squares, and of course one of my buddies who thought this was amazing, begged to take it off my hands for five bucks. The seminar wasn't half bad. It gave me some useful ideas for developing and debugging, but some of the functionality he was to show us was busted, oh well (maybe it was the magenta?lol-scott&J).

Does your Urinal Cake lose its Flavor?

this is an audio post - click to play

Alone, with Urinal Cakes

this is an audio post - click to play